[Honestly, this is starting to make less and less sense. What kind of relationship is this?]
Oh, he makes you a better person or at least makes you want to be one? I see.
I don't think any more information is going to make this make any more sense. I was just wondering if I've had the pleasure of meeting him already. I'll tell you who my friend is too.
Shit's complicated. It'll always be complicated because we have a history. Not a good history for a while.
[ Since he bullied Izuku. Badly. Because of his own personal insecurities and fears. Because Izuku's attitude about everything just rubbed him the wrong way since the guy just doesn't understand the meaning of limits.
But if this guy's already met Izuku... ]
Have you come across someone that has said "Kacchan" at all?
Maybe. But if you're both imprinted now that might help uncomplicate some things? Especially if you both are having similar feelings.
Who knows? I'm clearly no expert in imprinting or friends or lovers.
[Kacchan...Kacchan...actually that does ring a bell. Oh, interesting.
Yeah, it makes sense.]
Izuku? Tiny, loves video games, and really loves flowers apparently. He's really nice even after I gave him nightmares. It's funny he said he didn't think you would admit to being friends out loud. [Sorry, Izuku.]
[The manspread is noted but Ivan doesn't mind. Patho-Gen is giving them money and expecting them to listen, to get close and to touch. Rinne is right, it does seem like they're trying to force people into imprinting or least seeing what happens when they try to, for better or worse. But they're all here of their own free will and Ivan doesn't mind the closeness if Rinne doesn't.
So Ivan sits and it doesn't matter how much he tries not to invade Rinne's space, Ivan is not a small guy. He's tall and with an athletic build, broad shoulders and thighs and with Rinne spread out on the tiny sofa, they're pressed together like sardines in a tin can and really, Rinne is lucky Ivan doesn't end up accidentally half in his lap. The instructions to "nudge shoulders" is superfluous seeing as the lack of space doesn't give them a choice.
Once settled though, he considers the irony of the fellow idol's words and how painfully true they are but he's not sure how much to say because everyone seems to not like to hear about his reality.]
Where I come from, guardians look for potential when we're young. We're kind of like...an investment. You can only really be an idol if you audition and get selected for the big competition but your guardian chooses to enter you into the competition. We don't have a say.
[He pauses and glances at Rinne, taking in his face, his features. Yeah, he'd do well there for sure.]
But you're right. Most try and fail and are dead before it starts getting good. They kill the idols that lose where you're from too?
[ An investment. An asset. Nothing to be loved, only something to be admired.
Kill?
Rinne's expression darkens. His body languages, too, closes as he looks away and thinks about the implications. ]
Not in the way I think yours do.
[ If being an idol was so terrible, would Rinne have wanted to be one so badly? He thinks not. He thinks he would be the opposite. Then, his opponent—his brother—would actually want to... Ugh. He doesn't want to think about it. ]
But you look like someone who'd win, Banny. You look pretty lucky.
[Is that...a nickname? He's never had a nickname before, well besides things like "freak" and "weirdo"...he likes it.]
Oh yeah, the loser of each round gets shot and killed on stage. As you can imagine, it gets pretty competitive.
[He says it casually, matter-of-factly because it is just a fact of life, his reality--or it used to be. He has a feeling most of the horrors of this place are still to come.]
You think I look lucky? That's just my smile. [He flashes one, bright and worthy of a trained idol.] I did make it to the top 3 though but-- [They're interrupted by the next set of instructions, ""Turn and look at each other's faces, and remark upon a noteworthy or pleasing feature."]
[Wait. Wait, all of this is going too fast. They shoot idols then and there? How many times has Ivan witnessed that? A chill runs down his spine. Rinne barely has time to process it before they receive their next task.
Slowly, he turns to face Ivan and look into his eyes — black pools with barely any light.]
... Your fang. It's sharp. I bet your fans are totally into that.
[How many idols has Ivan been forced to sink his teeth into? Nothing in his village or the city could have ever prepared him for a situation like that. Then again, Rinne had only ever lived with humans. Maybe the circumstances turned them into something worse than animals.]
[If Aether is someone with "quite a few friends" then he probably doesn't need a friend like Ivan and he'll figure that out soon enough. It's only a matter of time.]
You're a pretty optimistic person.
[It's a curious observation and something he's never understood especially for someone that's had bad things happen to them. How can someone remain so optimistic? It just doesn't make sense...but maybe having a lot of friends helps.]
What's it like having so many friends? Is it because you've traveled so much?
[Suddenly, they're interrupted again. "For your last task, please share a happy memory and then give each other a hug."]
[It is true and Aether knows it well - he is optimistic, but not because he naively believes that everything is good in the world. His optimism stems from fighting the darkness that lingers in his mind, the despair and helplessness. It's chasing every little ray of hope and clinging to it, because there's no other choice. He refuses to give in to the negative emotions.
It's what allows him to smile softly at Ivan as if wanting to reassure him.]
In a way, yes. I try to make friends everywhere I go. It helps a lot--
[But before he can continue, the new instruction is given. A happy memory. Aether thinks about it for a moment, then smiles again.]
Visiting my friends after a long journey has always been a good memory to me. Especially going back to Mondstadt - to the land of freedom. They have this celebration there called the Windblume festival. Everybody is resting, having fun, enjoying the moment. Going back at that time feels like... going back home, in a way.
[He pauses, then closes his eyes.]
I'm a traveler, though. I do not belong anywhere. [Those last words are said in a quieter tone, a smile still on Aether's face, even if it's sadder somehow.
[That feeling of not belonging anywhere is something Ivan relates to deeply. To him, nowhere is home. What he doesn't understand is how someone with so many friends and people he cares about feels like he doesn't belong anywhere.]
Even with so many friends you feel like you don't belong anywhere?
[After spending so much of his life desperately wanting to be seen, feeling like there's at least one person out there that could save him, it's hard to swallow. Maybe some people, like him, just don't belong and can't be saved. Maybe Aether is like that too...
But at least Aether has happy memories, for Ivan, this last task is the hardest yet. Happiness is not something he experiences easily or readily. It's in quiet, fleeting moments.]
I don't have any happy memories like yours. If I've ever been happy, it's been back in school, there was someone I knew and he used to let me sit and watch him draw or compose songs. If I was careful not to bother him, I could sit there with him for hours. I'm not sure if he even remembers but I think those times were the happiest times for me.
[He looks at Ivan in silence for a moment or two, then smiles. There isn't much of happiness in that expression. It's just a smile of someone who accepted his fate as is.]
All my friends have their own lives, their wishes, places they're connected to. I only visit them and peek into their lives. I'm just a traveler, after all. I never stay anywhere for too long.
[He's a guest, a passer-by, a shooting star. He'll always remember his friends and he hopes he too would remain in their memories, but as an alien being with a long lifespan, he is aware that one day he'll move onto another world and never see those familiar faces again. Or that his human friends will die, staying alive only in his fond memories.
Can someone like him ever feel "at home" then?
Maybe one day...
Aether seems to be more interested in Ivan's story, though. His eyes are soft and after a moment he leans close to embrace the other.]
That sounds like a nice memory to me. I hope you'll have many more happy memories from now on.
[The new ears are sensitive to sound but apparently they're sensitive to touch too, something he didn't realize until right now. With Till's soft face brushing against it and the purring so close he can feel it as much as hear it, it makes him shiver, ear twitching against Till's cheek. Yeah, they're sensitive.
It's enough to distract him from his thorough inspection of Till's tail but only until he starts talking again and he goes back to combing through the soft fur. There it is, a small wound, bite marks for sure, enough to break the skin. It's not bleeding anymore, at least, and it looks fairly minor, already healing.]
Want me to kiss it and make it better?
[It comes off like a joke, like he know Till will say "ew no, freak" or something along those lines but he's not joking, not really--wait...]
[Till is thinking about just taking a kiss himself, how easy it would be to lean in and steal one from the other man. To breathe him in and have his breath stolen in turn. But then Ivan get caught on something else and really, it distracts him too in turn. Blinking at Ivan, he nods.]
Yeah. She got me some meat... I didn't want it at first and then I became like ravenous for it. It was.. weird? Yeah weird.
[It was really weird, he's not sure how he feels about that chick but whatever, it is what it is.
But Ivan is still holding his tail and it's hard not to twitch it to get his attention there again, which he does. He just knows he wants to try and know what Ivan's lips are like again. If they are as nice as the last time, less painful and more enjoyable. The kiss on stage still haunts him, digs and claws at his heart, but Ivan is alive and here with him right now.
[That answer is unexpected but it makes him feel warm all over which is the complete opposite of how Till saying he became "ravenous" for some girl's meat makes him feel.]
Till, I don't think you should just eat meat some girl gives you or let random people pet you either. You need to be careful here.
[Some girl got to pet him when he's hardly had a chance to? No, none of this sits right with him but Till's big beautiful tail is still in his hands, and the twitching gets his attention. He's seen Till with bumps, and cuts, and bruises, beaten and bloody and drugged. He's seen him unconscious and crying and almost defeated but he's never gotten to kiss away his pain before so he lifts Till's tail to his lips and kisses the little bite mark, lingering a moment longer than he probably should.]
She was going to kill a bunny for me... I kind of said no, but I really wanted it. Like really bad--
[ he flatlines when Ivan actually kisses his wound, making him flush and struggle not to squirm. The way he lingers makes Till's heart hammer heavy and sickingly fast in his chest. Something about this all has him relaxing and unshifting a little to be half shifted instead. Though there's a weird lingering that aches to shift...]
Ivan... can I-
[a sound of pain cuts him off and makes him visibly wince. He looks at his hands and... his nails are bleeding. Instantly, he knows what this is, he saw Momo transformation, the possibly permanent one.
The pain makes him cry out as the blood starts to drip more profusely.]
[Things have been awkward to say the least. Really awkward. Till isn't sure what happens after something like that and they didn't use any protection so what if he's pregnant? No, fuck, don't think about that. Still, he's not avoiding Ivan, he still seeks him out, wants him near, eyes always searching for him, but that doesn't stop the awkwardness from being an oppressive force between them.
So, after a few days of awkwardly trying to think of what to text, Till settles on this:]
[The thought of a possible pregnancy from being irresponsible is not on Ivan's mind, though maybe it should be. He's too preoccupied with hating himself. It doesn't matter that before he gave into his deepest, most sacred desires, gave into Till's (devastatingly) persuasive begging, he told himself it was only the drugs that were making Till want him. It was the drugs that made Till abandon reason and do what he would never do in his right mind. Ivan knew all of this, and knew as soon as the drugs wore off, he'd hate him and run.
Sometimes, he hates being right. That's exactly what happened. to say that things have been awkward is an understatement. Ivan feels sick to his stomach every time he looks in a mirror. Sure, Till isn't avoiding him completely but this is almost worst, like he still lets Ivan hang around out of some misplaced pity but can't stand him or the fact that he let Ivan touch him and deflower him so completely.
The message comes as a surprise but it's like he can feel the tone through the device and his stomach sinks with dread. It doesn't stop him from replying immediately though.]
[ A response!.... but he feels really awkward again. Fuck. Yay, good job, Till, you started a conversation you have no idea where to fucking go from after "hey." He types out things a few times before finally pressing send.]
[He's really really trying to figure out how to word this shit. FUCK.]
it's a good dick. you should be proud.
i just fucking mean like the sex, i know i sucked like probably, a lot, just you did a good job. its just really fucking awkward between us... was i that bad?
april log overflow @apshot
Date: 2025-05-10 10:36 pm (UTC)Competitors that hold hands?
[Honestly, this is starting to make less and less sense. What kind of relationship is this?]
Oh, he makes you a better person or at least makes you want to be one? I see.
I don't think any more information is going to make this make any more sense. I was just wondering if I've had the pleasure of meeting him already. I'll tell you who my friend is too.
[Not that he asked.]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-12 01:41 am (UTC)[ Since he bullied Izuku. Badly. Because of his own personal insecurities and fears. Because Izuku's attitude about everything just rubbed him the wrong way since the guy just doesn't understand the meaning of limits.
But if this guy's already met Izuku... ]
Have you come across someone that has said "Kacchan" at all?
no subject
Date: 2025-05-16 01:14 am (UTC)Who knows? I'm clearly no expert in imprinting or friends or lovers.
[Kacchan...Kacchan...actually that does ring a bell. Oh, interesting.
Yeah, it makes sense.]
Izuku? Tiny, loves video games, and really loves flowers apparently. He's really nice even after I gave him nightmares. It's funny he said he didn't think you would admit to being friends out loud. [Sorry, Izuku.]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-17 11:53 pm (UTC)Blah blah...
Now he mentions IZUKU ]
Wait.
The fuck you mean you gave him nightmares? What did you do?
[ Because that's more important than how Izuku thought he wouldn't admit to it out loud.
Because he... because it's complicated!]no subject
Date: 2025-05-20 03:32 pm (UTC)But he said he wants to be a hero so a little trauma can only help.
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From:🎀 wrap~
From:april log overflow @hanikamu
Date: 2025-05-12 03:32 pm (UTC)[The manspread is noted but Ivan doesn't mind. Patho-Gen is giving them money and expecting them to listen, to get close and to touch. Rinne is right, it does seem like they're trying to force people into imprinting or least seeing what happens when they try to, for better or worse. But they're all here of their own free will and Ivan doesn't mind the closeness if Rinne doesn't.
So Ivan sits and it doesn't matter how much he tries not to invade Rinne's space, Ivan is not a small guy. He's tall and with an athletic build, broad shoulders and thighs and with Rinne spread out on the tiny sofa, they're pressed together like sardines in a tin can and really, Rinne is lucky Ivan doesn't end up accidentally half in his lap. The instructions to "nudge shoulders" is superfluous seeing as the lack of space doesn't give them a choice.
Once settled though, he considers the irony of the fellow idol's words and how painfully true they are but he's not sure how much to say because everyone seems to not like to hear about his reality.]
Where I come from, guardians look for potential when we're young. We're kind of like...an investment. You can only really be an idol if you audition and get selected for the big competition but your guardian chooses to enter you into the competition. We don't have a say.
[He pauses and glances at Rinne, taking in his face, his features. Yeah, he'd do well there for sure.]
But you're right. Most try and fail and are dead before it starts getting good. They kill the idols that lose where you're from too?
sorry for the wait! i'd like to play this till the end (lol) if that's okay.
Date: 2025-06-02 01:22 pm (UTC)Kill?
Rinne's expression darkens. His body languages, too, closes as he looks away and thinks about the implications. ]
Not in the way I think yours do.
[ If being an idol was so terrible, would Rinne have wanted to be one so badly? He thinks not. He thinks he would be the opposite. Then, his opponent—his brother—would actually want to... Ugh. He doesn't want to think about it. ]
But you look like someone who'd win, Banny. You look pretty lucky.
i c what u did there lol i don't mind at all! i'm super flexible & happy to continue! cw: violence
Date: 2025-06-08 11:18 pm (UTC)Oh yeah, the loser of each round gets shot and killed on stage. As you can imagine, it gets pretty competitive.
[He says it casually, matter-of-factly because it is just a fact of life, his reality--or it used to be. He has a feeling most of the horrors of this place are still to come.]
You think I look lucky? That's just my smile. [He flashes one, bright and worthy of a trained idol.] I did make it to the top 3 though but-- [They're interrupted by the next set of instructions, ""Turn and look at each other's faces, and remark upon a noteworthy or pleasing feature."]
1/2
Date: 2025-06-09 05:45 am (UTC)Slowly, he turns to face Ivan and look into his eyes — black pools with barely any light.]
... Your fang. It's sharp. I bet your fans are totally into that.
[How many idols has Ivan been forced to sink his teeth into? Nothing in his village or the city could have ever prepared him for a situation like that. Then again, Rinne had only ever lived with humans. Maybe the circumstances turned them into something worse than animals.]
2/2
Date: 2025-06-09 05:48 am (UTC)[It's fine. Ivan's resolve might be frightening, but he's not here to put Rinne in his mouth. The situation hasn't gotten that bad yet.]
That's what I'm sayin', Banny. When you got all the charm, talent, passion, and love in the world... That makes you the luckiest person alive.
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From:april log overflow @startraveler
Date: 2025-05-14 02:44 am (UTC)[If Aether is someone with "quite a few friends" then he probably doesn't need a friend like Ivan and he'll figure that out soon enough. It's only a matter of time.]
You're a pretty optimistic person.
[It's a curious observation and something he's never understood especially for someone that's had bad things happen to them. How can someone remain so optimistic? It just doesn't make sense...but maybe having a lot of friends helps.]
What's it like having so many friends? Is it because you've traveled so much?
[Suddenly, they're interrupted again. "For your last task, please share a happy memory and then give each other a hug."]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-14 09:25 pm (UTC)It's what allows him to smile softly at Ivan as if wanting to reassure him.]
In a way, yes. I try to make friends everywhere I go. It helps a lot--
[But before he can continue, the new instruction is given. A happy memory. Aether thinks about it for a moment, then smiles again.]
Visiting my friends after a long journey has always been a good memory to me. Especially going back to Mondstadt - to the land of freedom. They have this celebration there called the Windblume festival. Everybody is resting, having fun, enjoying the moment. Going back at that time feels like... going back home, in a way.
[He pauses, then closes his eyes.]
I'm a traveler, though. I do not belong anywhere. [Those last words are said in a quieter tone, a smile still on Aether's face, even if it's sadder somehow.
Maybe one day he can actually find his "home".]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-17 11:05 pm (UTC)Even with so many friends you feel like you don't belong anywhere?
[After spending so much of his life desperately wanting to be seen, feeling like there's at least one person out there that could save him, it's hard to swallow. Maybe some people, like him, just don't belong and can't be saved. Maybe Aether is like that too...
But at least Aether has happy memories, for Ivan, this last task is the hardest yet. Happiness is not something he experiences easily or readily. It's in quiet, fleeting moments.]
I don't have any happy memories like yours. If I've ever been happy, it's been back in school, there was someone I knew and he used to let me sit and watch him draw or compose songs. If I was careful not to bother him, I could sit there with him for hours. I'm not sure if he even remembers but I think those times were the happiest times for me.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-17 11:42 pm (UTC)All my friends have their own lives, their wishes, places they're connected to. I only visit them and peek into their lives. I'm just a traveler, after all. I never stay anywhere for too long.
[He's a guest, a passer-by, a shooting star. He'll always remember his friends and he hopes he too would remain in their memories, but as an alien being with a long lifespan, he is aware that one day he'll move onto another world and never see those familiar faces again. Or that his human friends will die, staying alive only in his fond memories.
Can someone like him ever feel "at home" then?
Maybe one day...
Aether seems to be more interested in Ivan's story, though. His eyes are soft and after a moment he leans close to embrace the other.]
That sounds like a nice memory to me. I hope you'll have many more happy memories from now on.
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From:april log overflow @tillimgone
Date: 2025-05-14 06:59 pm (UTC)[The new ears are sensitive to sound but apparently they're sensitive to touch too, something he didn't realize until right now. With Till's soft face brushing against it and the purring so close he can feel it as much as hear it, it makes him shiver, ear twitching against Till's cheek. Yeah, they're sensitive.
It's enough to distract him from his thorough inspection of Till's tail but only until he starts talking again and he goes back to combing through the soft fur. There it is, a small wound, bite marks for sure, enough to break the skin. It's not bleeding anymore, at least, and it looks fairly minor, already healing.]
Want me to kiss it and make it better?
[It comes off like a joke, like he know Till will say "ew no, freak" or something along those lines but he's not joking, not really--wait...]
Did you just say she fed you?
no subject
Date: 2025-05-15 04:25 pm (UTC)Yeah. She got me some meat... I didn't want it at first and then I became like ravenous for it. It was.. weird? Yeah weird.
[It was really weird, he's not sure how he feels about that chick but whatever, it is what it is.
But Ivan is still holding his tail and it's hard not to twitch it to get his attention there again, which he does. He just knows he wants to try and know what Ivan's lips are like again. If they are as nice as the last time, less painful and more enjoyable. The kiss on stage still haunts him, digs and claws at his heart, but Ivan is alive and here with him right now.
So, why give up the chance?]
And yes. I do.
no subject
Date: 2025-05-18 03:33 am (UTC)[That answer is unexpected but it makes him feel warm all over which is the complete opposite of how Till saying he became "ravenous" for some girl's meat makes him feel.]
Till, I don't think you should just eat meat some girl gives you or let random people pet you either. You need to be careful here.
[Some girl got to pet him when he's hardly had a chance to? No, none of this sits right with him but Till's big beautiful tail is still in his hands, and the twitching gets his attention. He's seen Till with bumps, and cuts, and bruises, beaten and bloody and drugged. He's seen him unconscious and crying and almost defeated but he's never gotten to kiss away his pain before so he lifts Till's tail to his lips and kisses the little bite mark, lingering a moment longer than he probably should.]
no subject
Date: 2025-05-23 02:01 am (UTC)She was going to kill a bunny for me... I kind of said no, but I really wanted it. Like really bad--
[ he flatlines when Ivan actually kisses his wound, making him flush and struggle not to squirm. The way he lingers makes Till's heart hammer heavy and sickingly fast in his chest. Something about this all has him relaxing and unshifting a little to be half shifted instead. Though there's a weird lingering that aches to shift...]
Ivan... can I-
[a sound of pain cuts him off and makes him visibly wince. He looks at his hands and... his nails are bleeding. Instantly, he knows what this is, he saw Momo transformation, the possibly permanent one.
The pain makes him cry out as the blood starts to drip more profusely.]
... fuck.
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From:cw: body horror (nails/hands)
From:cw: body horror (nails/hands), blood, tending to wounds with his mouth because he's ivan
From:cw: more the same + panic attack
From:Re: cw: panic attack + bodily fluids
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From:text || un: edelweiss || Backdated to a couple-ish weeks after the Sex
Date: 2025-06-29 03:53 pm (UTC)So, after a few days of awkwardly trying to think of what to text, Till settles on this:]
hey
no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 05:25 pm (UTC)Sometimes, he hates being right. That's exactly what happened. to say that things have been awkward is an understatement. Ivan feels sick to his stomach every time he looks in a mirror. Sure, Till isn't avoiding him completely but this is almost worst, like he still lets Ivan hang around out of some misplaced pity but can't stand him or the fact that he let Ivan touch him and deflower him so completely.
The message comes as a surprise but it's like he can feel the tone through the device and his stomach sinks with dread. It doesn't stop him from replying immediately though.]
Hello, Till.
1/3?
Date: 2025-06-30 06:00 pm (UTC)your dick is huge
2/3?
Date: 2025-06-30 06:00 pm (UTC)fuck i mean like i can't stop thinking about it
3/4
Date: 2025-06-30 06:01 pm (UTC)shut up hold on
4/4
Date: 2025-06-30 06:04 pm (UTC)it's a good dick. you should be proud.
i just fucking mean like the sex, i know i sucked like probably, a lot, just you did a good job. its just really fucking awkward between us... was i that bad?
no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 06:52 pm (UTC)Thanks, I grew it myself.
What would you rate it out of 10?
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